How to prepare a toddler for a new sibling (before and after the baby arrives)
Practical ways to prepare a toddler or preschooler for a new baby: when to tell them, books and stories that help, what to do in the first weeks, and how to handle jealousy and regression.
For a toddler, a new baby is a strange piece of news. Someone is coming to live with you, forever. They’ll be very small, they’ll cry a lot, they’ll need your grown-ups constantly, and everyone is going to tell you how lucky you are.
Most toddlers adjust beautifully in the end. But the months around a new baby’s arrival can be hard for the big brother or sister, and a little preparation goes a long way. Here’s what helps, before and after.
Before the baby arrives
Tell them, in a way that fits their age
Toddlers have very little sense of time, so “in six months” means nothing. But they notice a lot, so don’t wait too long: the Child Mind Institute suggests telling them once the pregnancy begins to show. Tie the arrival to something your child understands: “The baby is coming when it’s cold outside” or “after your birthday.”
Keep it simple and concrete: “A new baby is coming to our family. When the baby is born, you’ll be a big sister.” Then let them ask questions, whenever they come.
Show them what babies are actually like
- Look at their own baby photos together. “This was you when you were brand new. You were so tiny, and you cried, and you slept a lot.”
- Spend time around babies, if you have friends or family with one, so they see how small and boring newborns are. (This is surprisingly reassuring.)
- Practice with a doll. Show them how to be gentle, how to hold a baby’s head, how to sing quietly.
Read books about new siblings
Picture books give toddlers words for the big mix of feelings, and let them rehearse becoming a big brother or sister. A few that have helped generations of families:
- I’m a Big Sister and I’m a Big Brother by Joanna Cole: simple, warm and reassuring.
- Peter’s Chair by Ezra Jack Keats: a boy who doesn’t want to give his things to the new baby.
- Julius, the Baby of the World by Kevin Henkes: for the honestly jealous older sibling, with a funny turnaround.
Stories where your child is the big sibling, and the baby has a name, can make it even more real. More on that below.
Make other big changes early (or later)
If your toddler is going to move to a big-kid bed, finish potty training, change rooms or start daycare, HealthyChildren.org suggests doing it before the baby arrives if you can. Otherwise, wait until the household has settled. One huge change at a time is plenty.
Make a plan for the birth
Explain who will look after them while you’re at the hospital or birth center, and where they’ll be. If you can, let them practice: a sleepover at Grandma’s before the big day makes the real one feel familiar.
When the baby comes home
The first meeting
A lot of parents find it helps to have the baby in a bassinet, not in their arms, when the older child first comes in. That way your arms are free for a big hug for the big sibling first. Some families give the older child a small present “from the baby.” It’s a little bit of theatre, and toddlers love it.
Protect a little one-on-one time
Even ten minutes a day, just the two of you, with the baby asleep or with someone else, can make a big difference. Call it something special (“our time”) and keep it predictable. The bedtime story is perfect for this, if one grown-up can make it a habit.
Let them help, if they want to
Fetching a diaper, choosing the baby’s outfit, singing to the baby: toddlers often love feeling useful. But don’t make it compulsory. Some days they won’t want anything to do with the baby, and that’s okay too.
Name the feelings
“It’s hard when the baby needs me and you want me too.” “You wish things were like before.” Naming the feeling doesn’t make it worse; it shows them you understand. They don’t have to love the baby yet.
Regression and jealousy are normal
After a new baby arrives, some toddlers go backwards for a while: potty accidents, baby talk, wanting a bottle or to be carried, waking at night, more tantrums. The AAP’s parenting site calls a little regression normal: it’s an older child’s way of making sure they still have your love and attention. Children vary a lot, and it usually passes as the household settles. Respond with extra warmth rather than frustration, and keep routines as steady as you can.
Jealousy is normal too. Let your child have all the feelings, but be clear about one rule: we never hurt the baby. Supervise them together, especially early on, and step in calmly if play gets too rough.
If things don’t settle after a few months, or your child seems very unhappy, talk to your pediatrician.
Stories where your child is the big sibling
Stories are one of the gentlest ways to practice. We make Branchlings, where your child is the hero of every story. You can add a brother or sister to their cast, including a baby who’s still on the way, and choose a New Baby Sibling story, so your child gets to be the big sister or brother who helps, worries, makes a choice and saves the day. They decide what happens at every fork.
On the Plus and Pro plans, a grown-up can also record themselves reading a story’s pages, so your own voice reads it to your child, which is handy for the nights you’re at the hospital or up with the baby.
Read it together earlier in the evening (pediatricians advise keeping screens out of the hour before bed), and you’ve got a ready-made way into the conversation. You can try a sample story first.
Quick answers
When should I tell my toddler about the new baby? Once the pregnancy begins to show is a good time; toddlers notice changes, and it’s better they hear it from you. Tie the arrival to something they understand, like a season or a birthday.
Is it normal for my toddler to regress after the new baby? Yes, a little regression is normal. Potty accidents, baby talk and clinginess are common, and usually temporary.
How do I help my toddler with jealousy? Protect a little one-on-one time every day, name their feelings, let them help if they want to, and keep the rule simple: we’re gentle with the baby.
More: the toddler bedtime routine (which a new baby will test!) and bedtime stories for 2 to 4 year olds.
Sources: HealthyChildren.org, Preparing your older child for a new baby (2026); Child Mind Institute, Preparing your child for a new sibling (2026); Volling, Family transitions following the birth of a sibling (2012).